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It's a common stereotype that for men, sex is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's good. But that's one of the many sexual myths that we might want throw out for good.

As the director of Men's Health Boston and an associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School, Morgentaler has been helping men with their sex lives for over 25 years.

And as the title of his book implies, he's heard some very interesting things in his practice. So we asked Morgentaler to enlighten us with some of the most surprising things women don't know about men and sex.

You might want to sit down for this:. Men Can—And Do—Fake Orgasms In the case study that inspired the book, one man came to Morgentaler complaining that he didn't know how to stop faking orgasms with his girlfriend.

He hadn't been able to climax during intercourse for most of his life, but since he really cared about his new girlfriend, he'd resorted to faking it so that she wouldn't get offended.

He's not the only one. So what about the matter of, um, evidence? If you're using a condom, you probably wouldn't know if he disposed of it pretty quickly.

In some cases, men can actually orgasm without ejaculating, says Morgentaler. In some men with diabetes, the opening to the bladder doesn't close well, and the fluid can go back into the bladder it's released when they urinate after sex.

Another slightly more common example is older men who have had a radical prostatectomy. And although Morgentaler isn't totally sure about this one, people who practice tantric sex often believe that men can experience an orgasm without ejaculating.

They Fake it for the Same Reasons Women Fake It According to most of the men Morgentaler has treated, the primary reason for faking it was because it just wasn't going to happen for them during sex which is also one of the reasons women fake orgasms.

When picking a condom, find one that fits like a glove, and look for rubbers that are ribbed or ultra-thin. Condoms are highly effective at preventing pregnancy and STIs, so it's worth finding the one that feels best for you.

For recommendations on what to buy, click here. The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and rectum, and it contains tons of nerve endings.

Stimulating the prostate can feel so good, some sexual health experts have dubbed it the "P-spot" or the "male G-spot.

These butt-centric sex toys can also help stimulate the prostate during partner sex or masturbation, as well as activate those sensitive nerve endings around the opening of the anus.

Butt plugs are designed to slide in and stay put—hence the word "plug"—while anal beads can be gradually inserted or pulled out over the course of a sex session.

Check out these roundups of our favorite butt plugs and anal beads. Try squeezing a few drops onto the tip of your penis before you start intercourse.

We'll let you in on a little secret: lots of women love watching porn. That said, they may not be into the same type of content you're into, so be sure to discuss your tastes beforehand or scope out some softer-core fare.

Director Erika Lust's LustFilms is a great place to start. Sex isn't a race. Take time to explore your partner before you get to intercourse.

Not only will it build desire, but it'll help you discover what you and your partner do and don't like in bed.

During foreplay, the genitals are off-limits. Touch the other parts of your partner's body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything that turns them on—and ask them to describe how it feels.

This builds the tension until you're both ready to explode. Check out our tips on how not to screw up your next foreplay session. Want to know if your partner likes to talk dirty?

Say something like, "You make me think dirty thoughts. It's best to test the waters a bit, rather than immediately go for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk right off the bat.

Here's our guide to talking dirty in bed. If your partner has a vulva, there's a very good chance they need clitoral stimulation in order to climax—P-in-V intercourse alone isn't gonna cut it.

As for the best way to stimulate your partner's clitoris? An Indiana University survey of 1, women found that 3 out of 4 respondents like it when a partner traces circles on their clitoris with their fingers or tongue.

But if you're not entirely sure what drives your partner wild, ask them! The clitoris is packed with nerves and super sensitive, so your partner may not want you to touch them there directly.

The clitoris actually extends several inches under the skin on either side of her vagina—like a wishbone—which means you can massage it without applying direct pressure.

Try tracing the extensions with flat, wide, extra-wet tongue strokes, or slow finger zigzags don't forget lube. Then rub a slow spiral around the top, drawing closer with each pass.

The combination of anticipation and indirect contact will bring those pleasure centers to life. Stimulating the perineum—the area between your balls and your butt—can feel really good during masturbation or sex.

You can also ask your partner to apply pressure to the area during oral sex. The orgasm gap is real , and it's great that you want to help your partner climax!

Intercourse is only one way to have a fulfilling sex life. Touching, kissing and other intimate contact can be rewarding for you and your partner.

As you age, it's normal for you and your partner to have different sexual abilities and needs. Be open to finding new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy.

Adapt your routine. Simple changes can improve your sex life. Change the time of day you have sex to a time when you have the most energy.

Try the morning — when you're refreshed from a good night's sleep — rather than at the end of a long day.

Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, take more time to set the stage for romance.

Try a new sexual position or explore other ways of connecting romantically and sexually. Don't give up on romance.

If you've lost your partner, it can be difficult to imagine starting another relationship — but socializing is well worth the effort for many single seniors.

No one outgrows the need for emotional closeness and intimacy. If you start an intimate relationship with a new partner, use a condom. Many older adults are unaware that they are still at risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes and gonorrhea.

One final piece of advice for maintaining a healthy sex life: Take care of yourself and stay as healthy as you can:. See your doctor regularly, especially if you have chronic health conditions or take prescription medications.

Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products. Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission. Any use of this site constitutes your agreement to the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy linked below.

A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information: verify here.

This content does not have an English version. This content does not have an Arabic version. Make an appointment.

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That said, they may not be into the same type of content you're into, so be sure to discuss your tastes beforehand or scope out some softer-core fare.

Director Erika Lust's LustFilms is a great place to start. Sex isn't a race. Take time to explore your partner before you get to intercourse.

Not only will it build desire, but it'll help you discover what you and your partner do and don't like in bed.

During foreplay, the genitals are off-limits. Touch the other parts of your partner's body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything that turns them on—and ask them to describe how it feels.

This builds the tension until you're both ready to explode. Check out our tips on how not to screw up your next foreplay session.

Want to know if your partner likes to talk dirty? Say something like, "You make me think dirty thoughts. It's best to test the waters a bit, rather than immediately go for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk right off the bat.

Here's our guide to talking dirty in bed. If your partner has a vulva, there's a very good chance they need clitoral stimulation in order to climax—P-in-V intercourse alone isn't gonna cut it.

As for the best way to stimulate your partner's clitoris? An Indiana University survey of 1, women found that 3 out of 4 respondents like it when a partner traces circles on their clitoris with their fingers or tongue.

But if you're not entirely sure what drives your partner wild, ask them! The clitoris is packed with nerves and super sensitive, so your partner may not want you to touch them there directly.

The clitoris actually extends several inches under the skin on either side of her vagina—like a wishbone—which means you can massage it without applying direct pressure.

Try tracing the extensions with flat, wide, extra-wet tongue strokes, or slow finger zigzags don't forget lube. Then rub a slow spiral around the top, drawing closer with each pass.

The combination of anticipation and indirect contact will bring those pleasure centers to life. Stimulating the perineum—the area between your balls and your butt—can feel really good during masturbation or sex.

You can also ask your partner to apply pressure to the area during oral sex. The orgasm gap is real , and it's great that you want to help your partner climax!

But when you make it the singular focus of a sexual encounter—for instance, telling them you don't want to come until they do—you might end up stressing them out and decreasing the likelihood of them reaching orgasm.

Instead, read up on closing the pleasure gap. Here's something you should never ask a person with a vulva after sex: "Did you come?

Instead, make their pleasure a priority during sex itself. If you and your partner aren't as jazzed about doing it as you used to be, maybe it's time to deviate from your go-to sex positions.

Try these easy ways to spice up the missionary or cowgirl positions. Or, if you're really feeling adventurous, commit to working your way through our 50 favorite sex positions of all time.

Now, we don't recommend actually having sex in public—that could get you in trouble with the law. But there are plenty of ways to safely tap into the public sex fantasy , from dirty talk to virtual orgies to sex resorts.

Here's an idea for a "fantasy lottery": Both you and your partner write five sexual fantasies down on five separate notebook cards.

No one outgrows the need for emotional closeness and intimacy. If you start an intimate relationship with a new partner, use a condom.

Many older adults are unaware that they are still at risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes and gonorrhea. One final piece of advice for maintaining a healthy sex life: Take care of yourself and stay as healthy as you can:.

See your doctor regularly, especially if you have chronic health conditions or take prescription medications. Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products.

Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission. Any use of this site constitutes your agreement to the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy linked below.

A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information: verify here.

This content does not have an English version. This content does not have an Arabic version. Make an appointment. Visit now. Explore now.

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Sign up now. Senior sex: Tips for older men What you can do to maintain a healthy and enjoyable sex life as you grow older.

By Mayo Clinic Staff. Even a simple 'that was great,' will do wonders. Women today are more sexually liberated and more comfortable asking for exactly what they want in bed, which is an overwhelmingly positive thing.

But interestingly, it's resulting in way more business for physicians like Morgentaler. See, guys are just as familiar with the stereotype that they should have the higher libidos, though that doesn't make it true.

That's probably always been true, but culturally they were not expressing it as much as they do now. Men who can go one or two rounds in bed are seeking Viagra so they can go a third time—even if they have no actual erectile issues.

By no means are we suggesting that women should have lower libidos or ever feel embarrassed about their desire. Instead, it seems that both genders are going to have to accept that mismatched libidos in either direction are a totally natural thing—and we may start to see it becoming more prevalent.

One needs to be respectful of the other person's sexuality, too. Weight Loss. United States. Type keyword s to search.

Today's Top Stories. Vegan In-N-Out Burgers. You might want to sit down for this: Men Can—And Do—Fake Orgasms In the case study that inspired the book, one man came to Morgentaler complaining that he didn't know how to stop faking orgasms with his girlfriend.

You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.

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